[Anyone else remember the Meat Beat Manifesto song Marrs Needs Women??? Starts with "We will control all that you see and hear."]

 

I just read a couple great posts on the Mars Hill Church here and here.

 

I’ve been amazed at how powerful it is for people to collect in focused groups. As a child I went to a church (okay, we were Buddhists, but still…) and I still can’t put my finger on how the atmosphere itself almost changes when people, together, become single-minded. I’m comfortably atheist now and yet I’ve still felt that sensation in a yoga class, or during a retreat. I don’t think there’s anything magical going on, it’s just the way everyone becomes silent and focused.

 

The tragedy is that this energy can be harvested, cheaply. Years ago a friend of mine convinced me to go to a weekend retreat ($$$) to learn more about myself. My parents are psychologists and the techniques for emotionally charged group therapy are well known. By the end of the second day everyone was diving deep into their pains, crying together, and hopefully vowing to change their lives for the better, if not pay more money for the next, more advanced retreat.

 

And there’s the rub. I think most of us want to be better people, or we want to deal with our past suffering, or we want to belong. To get there we may almost unconsciously agree to overlook some fallacies. We may quietly agree that certain beliefs make us a chosen/better people, that our suffering is insignificant in comparison to some greater sacrifice, or that we can form a community around acts like the subjugation of women. But none of those things make us better or happier individuals, and none of those things make us a better community.

 

Well, things with Mary didn’t work out. Turns out she has some un-resolved issues with her ex-boyfriend. I broke things off when it became clear that while she wants to date me right now she is hoping to get back together with her ex sometime in the future.

 Yes. Frustrating.